Ijeoma Obasi: I feel I was born a century late

Ijeoma Chinelo Obasi is not the typical fat gal that broods over her shape and size even in the face of societal stickers against extended sizes. She carries herself with uncommon élan no wonder. She said spirit, passion and style encapsulate her personality. Apart from being a plus-size advocate, Obasi runs a modelling outfit aptly named Dream Plus Modelling Agency and she equally has interest in writing and photography. Meanwhile, in a frank session with MORAKINYO ABODUNRIN, Obasi speaks against the societal misconceptions against gals with extended sizes, and how much she has personally overcome some of these fallacies.

How did you think your way through to being a plus-size advocate?

I was born fat, grew up fat, still fat, now christened plus sized. I can’t remember what I weighed at birth. I was told I was fat but, come on, some people are not good with numbers; I weigh 105kg now.

What was growing up like?

Growing up was wonderful. My late father loved books and I was exposed to advanced literature very early in my life; reading about people in faraway lands, adventures, rise and fall of empires shaped my thoughts and fired my imaginations.

My sympathies over the loss of your dad. How old were you when he died and how did you battle with it because of the usual depth of affection between fathers and daughters?

Thank you. I was 14 and I didn’t feel it that much then. The only challenges I faced were on education; he was no longer there for discussions. My father was not one to show affection; thinking about it now, I can tell he wanted me to be strong. To be totally honest to myself and to others; to take responsibility for any of my actions and then to follow my heart. He was an atheist.

Was your father a writer?

No. But he had lots of books. It shaped his thinking and also mine.

What are your thoughts about religion?

Do you really want to hear it? Because I have none. I only want people to be safe in their belief and also try and accommodate other people’s beliefs. All my life I have been constantly judged by my lack of religion, which I don’t do to others.

What is your religious belief?

I still see myself as an atheist. I attend church when my friends have events, so I am not against any religion

What is the attraction in being an atheist, especially for a young lady like you?

It is just like asking you a Christian or Muslim the attraction; which I am sure you have no answer to. I have been seen as the devil incarnate, just because I do not hold any religious affiliations.  Ours is a very religious country, people also do not mind their business, they all have an opinion of how you should live your life. Imagine my ordeal as an atheist when I apply for official documents and I have to choose between Christianity and Muslim; I will suggest the authorities look into this. Nigeria has a large community of atheists and it is not right to force them to choose what they are not on their official documents.

Is atheism a family thing or this is all about Chinelo?

It was a family thing and not all about me; but I still hold onto the belief.

How many are you in the family; what influence does your mum have over your choices?

We are three. My mother is a very kind and understanding woman and even if your ideas are not that sound, she will walk you through it. I have always been a thinker. A nomad at heart; if travelling were to be free I would have been all over the world by now. She has no other choice.

Which neighbourhood did you grow up in?

We moved around a lot; Nnewi in Anambra State first, Oju-Ore in Sango Ota, then Ijesha in Lagos. Growing up fat, I was faced with discriminations over my body type and how I looked. Apart from the discriminations, there are the sexual predators who feel you are too big for your age. I was shy, I hid inside the pages of my books, moving around to cat calls and demeaning names turned me into a recluse. Then, I discovered social media, met plus sized ladies who were carrying their weights and sizes well online. Met a few offline, was amazed at my discoveries. I decided to get some confidence myself, and the rest was history.

What is the most common misconception about plus-sized women?

Glutton; sluggish and clumsy…people think we eat too much; we are slow and dirty.

Do you have any unforgettable incident that you’ll like to share?

I will try. I was once at a hotel to meet a friend. There was a line at the reception. I was standing behind two ladies and a guy; when it got to my turn the receptionist didn’t bother to ask me anything, she just said: ‘Madam, sisters’ fellowship holds at the pool side’. I was shocked, she was already pointing; I recovered my wits to ask her why she thought I was there for the fellowship, and she said I am big.  I asked her what size has got to do with anything. You see, she didn’t point the other two ladies before me to fellowship, simply because they are slim. Fat ladies, even when they are dressed to kill, belong to fellowships. It was very embarrassing and unforgettable because I was actually dressed to kill and was not in some drab born-again kaftan and beret.

Why do fat ladies like to ‘dress to kill’?

Blame it on the killer bodies.

When I used ‘dress to kill’ in that sentence, I never intended for anyone to get hurt; who even invented that word? The question is should a plus-sized or curvy woman wear ‘infuriating’ dresses?

It depends on what you see as infuriating. Fashion is a choice; I might be into free clothing while somebody else thinks otherwise. Meanwhile, the fashion industry has never been fair to plus-sized women. You hardly see any design solely for them, what we get is bigger sizes of smaller ladies designs.  Meaning, the designs were made with the little lady in mind, the plus sized ladies get the bigger sizes of it. Recently, some designers are correcting that but they are almost not affordable.

How and when did you get an idea to run a modelling outfit for plus-sized ladies?

I nursed the idea for two years before I finally kicked it off in January 2018. As a size acceptance advocate, I wanted to see more plus-sized women in advertisements, runways, entertainment etc.  The modelling outfit was my way of doing something about it; grooming professional plus-sized models. I do not model myself, I direct. The society is used to having slim ladies as the ideal body type; they are almost in all the commercials, on the runways, billboards. Even in entertainment (media) the plus-sized are cast as the mothers, hardly any lead role, no love interest.

How much of breakthrough have you made in this direction?

Not much, but I am happy with the level of awareness created. We are planning for the Accra Fashion Week (AFW) this year. A plus size clothing line from Florida, Nina Sharae Resort & Swimwear, would be using my models. I am optimistic.

Pageantry is all about beauty and carriage, what are the other things you look for while selecting your models?

Passion, personality and goals. My next casting will be very tough since I will be looking out for exceptional ladies that have the qualities listed above. The agency will also bring male models on board. I have not done anything major yet with Dreams Plus Modelling Agency. For now, I run only the modelling agency. Before, it was just running as my age on social media and organisation of Fabsisters Corner.

Tell us about the Fabsisters Corner

Fabsisters Corner is a size acceptance advocacy group. It started as a Facebook Page; the more we share pictures of plus sized ladies, write about the challenges, and also encourage the plus-sized women to have confidence, the more the women wanted more. It was formed by two plus-sized women, Ijeoma Chinelo Obasi and Kenechi Okafor.

What other challenges do plus-sized women face besides the usual societal stereotype?

I think the greatest challenge is about relationships – finding love. Most plus-sized women have a complex problem and finding the right cloth for their body.

Have you found love; is he a plus-sized guy? Tell us about the lucky guy… 

Yes, I have found love. He is not plus-sized. I love slim guys because I am already big and acquired enough flesh for both of us. About him… It took me long to believe him that he truly loves me, though sometimes the insecurity sets in. We met on social media and from experience, one guy on Facebook talking to you as a woman is also talking to 10 other fat women. But he is just special to me, I can’t point at anything.  My instincts convinced me (it has failed me in the past, especially relationship-wise) but this time around, I am also making this work.

How soon are you heading to the altar?

Very soon. I do not want to rush it. I am taking my time; I had my fears but I do not have to put my fears first before my happiness. I’ve talked to myself; if anyone deserves happiness, that person is me.

Do you feel unhappy sometimes that you are plus-sized and has it limited your choice of things you’ll like to do?

I used to be unhappy about my size. When I walked down the street, I felt everybody and their dogs were talking about me; it affected my relationship with people but I no longer feel that way. Even small ‘stressful’ things like skinny jeans that used to make me sad, I now rock them happily.  Yes, being plus-sized comes with a lot of limitations.

What are some of these limitations and what advice can you give to overcoming them?

Getting jobs in some organisations; it never happened to me but I have listened to plus-sized women share experiences. Be confident of your abilities, do not let what others think or say about you shake you. Always go out of your way to prove that you can. If you do not promote yourself, who will?

How are you planning for the coming Accra Fashion Week?

Planning to have the best models on the run way. Who knows if my agency might produce the first curvy super model? I have another passion, which is travelling, exploring and documenting. I am lucky to be part of a team of photographers who are trying to rediscover Africa. I feel as if I was born a century late; I would have made a good explorer. Not too late now because Africa beckons and it would be nice to tell Africa’s story by an African, not the stark poverty and corruption but stories of the beautiful continent. I was at the northern region, a place called Tamale; beautiful place, untouched, though very hot.  I saw how shea butter was processed and I even came close to a friendly crocodile. I want Africans to travel round their own continent, meet people from other countries, not in New York or Norway. It will help us realise how beautiful our land is and have a better appreciation and dedication to it. A lot of Nigerians have travelled all over Europe but never made it to neighbouring Benin Republic. With the pictures we will be sharing, it will help people who want to travel all over Africa.

What is your fashion regimen?

I do not care about fashion that much. I dress up in clothes that make me comfortable, I wear lots of black (I believe it hides the folds). Yes, black is my favourite colour. I love long dresses and African prints.

 What will you not be caught wearing?

Revealing clothes and loud colours.

Why are you not following the trend?

Why can’t the trend follow me? I enjoy being different, I don’t have to do what others are doing.

What kind of food do you like and which ones do you run away from?

I love fufu too much. I run away from foods I do not understand, like Chinese and Italian stuffs. Give me swallow anytime, any day I will be at peace and happy.

How regularly do you go to the gym to exercise?

Once in a red moon; meaning never! I’m fit and I am confident about myself.